A message from my future son

Once upon a time (2014) I decided to explore the wonderful world of dating apps.

I feel very fortunate to say that I only had two ‘Tinder nightmare‘ exchanges, but the fact that they happened at all is disappointing.

When I first tried Tinder I spoke with and met some really interesting, respectful and respectable people. However as the months went by I noticed an extreme decline in the conversational abilities of the opposite sex. For example, the following statement as an opener: “think it would be hot if we went for drinks and had sex after?? ;)”

Yeah, pure class.

I decided to try something different.
Hinge seemed promising, as it narrows the dating pool down to only those you are connected to via your Facebook circles. This means there are only a few degrees of separation between you and potential matches, which adds a layer of credibility to the system (you can reason that a friend of your friend is probably a good, decent human being…or at least hope this is the case). The one problem with Hinge was that my hundreds of Facebook friends didn’t seem to have many friends with the app. Oh the woes of being an early adopter! Dead end. I deleted the app from my phone.

But apparently I didn’t delete my Hinge account — because this week I received the email below:


Hinge, this is a very strange and disconcerting marketing tactic. All it accomplished was that I just properly removed myself from the app’s ecosystem.

A few thoughts:

  1. WHO THE HELL IS SHELDON? I know the app knows my name, because it pulls this data from one’s Facebook profile. Is Sheldon supposed to be my future son, sending me a message from the future? IS TERMINATOR HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? Or maybe Back to the Future? Looper? About Time? X-Men: Days of Future Past? I like movies featuring time travel.
  2. Sheldon sounds like a creeper. I hope Sheldon is not my future son.
  3. I would never name my child Sheldon. No offence to any Sheldon’s out in the world, but this is what I’d name my pet turtle, if I had one. Maybe Sheldon is my future pet turtle?
  4. Why the quote at the bottom? What rules?
  5. I don’t think I swiped right on the “match”  referenced. Is this a trick?
  6. *Confused*

No thank you Hinge. And get some better marketers on your team; this was a strange and unwelcome tactic.

And anyway, I’m trying things the old-fashioned way these days. (Unless there is a real opportunity for time travel, which I am clearly open to.)


One thought on “A message from my future son

  1. Pingback: Racial profiling on Instagram | Language of the People

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